Another New Start - Yay!

So, first, I went to OA this morning.  WA-FUCKIN-HOO!!!  Like, seriously, man.  It was the right thing to do and felt SO good!  It really did feel like coming home to some sanity and some hope.  I was not the only 'new/returning' person there - there was a woman who was returning after 20 years.  And the Castle Shannon meeting had like 25 people that day.  I've now had 2 days of abstinence (which for me, means no sugar and is NO SMALL FEAT!)  Yay me!  I have really taken care of myself and breathed through the hunger.  This is good and good to remember.  Just breathe through it.  Hunger makes me so so anxious.  And that's usually where I get tripped up.  It's such a hard place for me - I get so scared and then I make the quickest easiest decision I can about food - which usually means UNHEALTHY just to relieve that terrible awful emptiness.  For example - I had actually forgotten to eat breakfast before OA (it was a weird morning full of a lot of trepidation) but on my way there (I was running early) I stopped at McGinnis Sisters in Castle Shannon and bought and apple and a banana.  Easy, quick, cheap, HEALTHY.  Good for me.  And I had lunch with Maki and my father - where I had a spicy shrimp wrap and some tomato soup (promptly discarded however soon after at Marshalls - drat!)  And then a small portion dinner at a Chinese buffet (including sushi and wonton soup.)  And not only have I not eaten sugar in 2 days - I've also not snacked.  ANOTHER great feat for me!  I'm also headed to another OA meeting tonight.  WORTH THE TIME - don't forget.  It takes a lot of time to engage in an addiction - so I'm just exchanging a few hours for another few hours.  I spent quite a lot of time scheming and then feeling shame and feeling numb and now I can feel alive and hopeful.  This changes everything.