Eating Well in Gettysburg

So Maki and I are in Gettysburg this weekend - our mutual interest in the Civil War has led us to watching, reading, and now visiting anything Civil War. Several years ago I teased Traby endlessly for going to Gettysburg with her very cool hubby, Darren. Going so far as calling it 'Nerdburg' and writing 'you're 65' in their guidebook. I eat my words. It's a pretty cool place, ripe with history and stories. I admit without shame my excitement. Of course, going on any kind of trip in the midst of a 'get healthy plan' is tricky. I did stop and pick up some healthy snacks before leaving (water, lowfat wheat thins, curve granola bars, 2 pink lady apples, carmel rice cake-thingies and some pretzels) as I get terribly anxious and make bad decisions when I'm hungry. So I figured its' safer to have some food around so that I don't arrive at any meal totally starving. It's worked really well. And as everyone knows, eating on the road (specifically the PA turnpike) especially difficult for the health-conscious. The only (yes, the only!) rest stop open on our leg of the trip was a Sbarro's. Eww. But I got 2 meatballs and part of a soft pretzel. Not the best meal, but better than what I would have gotten if I was inside my usual eating habits. Greasy pizza anyone? And of course, we're staying at a B&B and I was wise enough to call ahead of time and let the owner know I was going SF for our stay. She was more than happy to accomodate. They always are, as has been my experience. And dinner, though it sounds lame, was at Perkins (we don't have one near us and they far exceed any comparable restaurants - ie: Eat-n-Park or Denny's!) so we were both pretty excited. I managed to resist ordering some kind of greasy sandwich and fries and got a side salad, baked potato and salmon. Very good actually. Later on, as we were watching Gettysburg on DVD (we brought it with us - this 4-hour movie - we only got through 2 hours of course!) I had some wheat thins. Actually looked at the serving size and everything! (16 chips)

It's been hard being hungry and eating well on this trip. I always have this notion that 'trips' should be fun and fun = eating whatever and whenever I want. (this has always been a challenge for Traby and I on our yearly vacations together - I'm sure we'll be blogging about that when the time comes [July 20th.]) But it's been hard for me to feel like I'm having 'fun' when I feel so restricted. that's really a big challenge. Especially since M. can eat anything he pleases (which means some huge breakfast combination at Perkins!)

My SF breakfast looked really good - it's definitely not lowfat however, so when the plate arrived (and they're so generous with the portions at B&Bs, God love 'em!) that I immediately decided to eat 1/2 of everything (some grits, blueberry muffin, egg casarole, sausagey-thing) and I did indeed feel full even with 1/2 of everything still on the plate. It was hard. Very hard. That stuff tasted GOOD! And then, what happens for me, is that the day's plans revolve around 'When do we get to eat next?' And it's stressful when we're not exactly sure. But this process is about 2 things (well, more than that, but this part is about 2 things)

1. opening up, letting go
2. being hungry and understanding that that's ok

So, we decided on the personal tour guide (highly recommend that!) who takes you on a 2-hour personal story-filled tour of the battlefields for $55 in your own car. Totally worth it. Our guide, Dennis, rocked. He knows all. But because we couldn't get started with that until 11:30, my 'eating' alarm was on high alert. But, I breathed. I calmed down. And realized, I wasn't actually starving. Important for me to note this. Hunger is very connected to fear in my book. (for reasons that might require another blog!) and around 2, we were sitting down at the Farnsworth Inn (after staring shocked, at the bullet holes in the south side of the restaurant's building. Again, hunger = fear. So sitting down to a menu really hungry is a situation not to be taken lightly. I got a fruit/cheese/cracker plate and some soup. And then managed to ask for a scoop of chicken salad. Not bad. Sadly, the 'cheese' was a 'spread' and the soup smelled a little like feet. Not sure what that was about. So, it was a pretty unfulfilling lunch, which makes me so angry inside as it taps into my already strong feelings of deprevation. Back to the breath. And the reassuring myself: this isn't all about food. It's all ok.

Afterwards, we decided to stop at ColdStone Creamery and I got a small cake batter light with sprinkles. Ok, I know this isn't sugar free. But there's room for an occasional sugary treat - especially one that's 'light' and isn't mixed with 600 more calories of toppings.

That puts us here, 6:30 PM after a nice nap. However, hunger abounds. Post-naps are another tricky time (ok, all my days are loaded with tricky times!) but I'm committed to having a snack and again, going to dinner, breathing, ordering something healthy, small and noting to myself that I will feel full. It's all about good decisions in these small moments. just one after another after another.