Reb Robin and Feist

So this weekend Maki and I went to Red Robin. The hamburger joint. I had been making some good decisions all weekend and just had a craving for a burger and fries. I didn't regret it and I even found that it was cool to get a 'real craving.' As opposed to just deciding (for whatever reason) to eat something junky. It was cool to get a craving and respond to it. And to have that food I was craving be very different than my daily choices. That's not my usual situation. Even if I have a craving for something (usual sugar) it's daily and I feed that craving daily. There's something empowering to making fairly consistent healthy choices and then having a craving for something a little unhealthy and deciding to eat it. I'm not being terribly articulate about this - it's crystal clear in my head of course! But it was nice to experience junk food as a treat and not as a regular food. There, I think I said it.

This morning too, I was listening to Feist on the way to work - she rocks, by the way. And her song: I Feel it All really resonated. I feel very exposed to the world and all that's going on - in a good way. There's a lot on my plate and in my heart these days and the last 2 weeks I've been drowning under it all. This morning, I felt a new spaciousness. Traby often reminds me that we all have all we need to manage and that we can manage and that 'there is enough.' I have big issues with 'enough' (food, time, energy, sleep, etc!) and I get very antsy when life feels crowded that I don't perhaps have whatever sugar I want when I want it or hours and hours of continuous free-time to waste away. Last night I had an evening meeting that lasted from 7-11 and I got very anxious driving home that I didn't have time to myself. Yet, the evening was tremendously enjoyable and fulfilling and energizing. It's funny that I don't focus on that part. I have trouble when I have too much going on on weeknights - but on the way home, Traby's words kept popping into my head: "there will be enough." That's big stuff. And 'enough' is at the heart of my issues with eating and it's important to see how my anxiety about 'enough' plays a role in so many other parts of my life. It's all connected, man. Feist and Red Robin.