Neglected

Traby and I have both in difficult places the past few weeks, and that means, no blogging and making some pretty hard choices. I think that's different about this experience for both of us, is that we're not 'giving up on ourselves.' I'm so used to trying something, and when it doesn't work perfectly, taking my leave. But eating is something I've built so many stories and habits around, there's no way it's going to smooth-sailing. It's very very difficult stuff. In many ways, it's easier to make choices that 'give up' like fast food, dessert, etc. Easier, in one sense, but much harder in another. Traby and I have tried and tried to depress our reset buttons, but neither of us had much luck - EXCEPT when one day last week, we checked in with eachother every hour of the work day and made hour-long goals. Frankly, it worked really well, but neither of our work days lend themselves well to that kind of vigilance with each other. Though we can definitely devise ways to do it that will work for us. Perhaps setting a morning, afternoon and evening goal. no doubt that the act of speaking a goal or even writing one down, can change our energy around it and commitment to it. Which is why I'm sitting here blogging after a long absence. I know this act of being present can shift things for me. Tonight, while I had a fine dinner (1/2 a chicken salad sandwich) I topped it off with brownies and ice cream. It doesn't feel so good. It's definitely not contributing to my overall goals. I can't blame stress (things have been much more calm lately) so this is all me going back to habits that are hard to break. Again, compassion and stick-to-it-ness! Whether we're not making healthy choices, or not blogging or not exercising, it doesn't mean it's all for nothing. I'm so used to it meaning that, well not this time.