Puppets and Scales

Workplaces ARE hard. For nearly a month, there have been these amazing thumb-print (I think I've referred to them as fist-prints in a past post) at my office. Huge cookies with 2 inches of icing (icing is my drug of choice!) and it's been very very tough to see them everyday. I bring in oatmeal for breakfast at work, when really, I'd prefer to sit down with a whole plate of those cookies. Be thankful those aren't your office cookies, Traby! But, I know after a conversation Traby and I had the other night, that probably for both of us, even a little sugar, ignites that craving and sends us both into a bit of a spiral struggle. That's a tough one, because I rationalize (and sometimes it's true) just a little sugar will calm that craving. Some weeks that works for me. A block of very dark chocolate will give me some satisfaction. Other decisions, like low-fat ice cream, will satisfy too, but that one (I'm learning) will send me for more.

But I've had some relief. It's about time for things to ease up just a bit. The hunger has eased ever so slightly. Friday - today haven't been too bad - although, part of me believes I'll just need to get used to being hungrier than I am normally. When you stuff yourself at nearly every meal, that becomes the feeling you equate with satisfaction. I think Traby has said this before, but I didn't often feel my tummy rumble with hunger. So when it does now (and it's often!) it's uncomfortable and causes me some serious anxiety. I'm more interested in stuffing that feeling than feeling it (such a comment about how I approach some things in my life for sure!) But I'm slowly adjusting to being hungry more often. And as Traby has said also, this is not forever. There's a great song in the musical Avenue Q (hence the whacko picture) called "Only for Now" and even on the back of my car, is the bumper sticker, "it's all temporary." Continually reminding myself of that has been helping lately. A lot. I think Traby repeating it has allowed me to hear it and take it in a bit differently.

I also bought a new scale this week - our scale (RIP) has been the source of great confusion for me. The past 2 weeks I've gotten numbers that range from 15 lbs lower than usual (I should have just taken that number!) to 5 lbs higher. Since the scale is definitely one of the measurements of progress, it's important to have an accurate one. I had Traby bring hers over last week and yah, ours was dying. We bought a fun new one at Ikea and it appears, it's more our floors than the scale. We have to keep the scale in one place to make sure it's accurately weighing us. So, since this is a new number, I'm kind of discouraged, but I keep on going. Here's where I would normally throw in the towel, but Traby's here next to me, chugging away with wisdom and grace so maybe I can too.