Traby's Back (and so is a bit of sugar)

Yay, Traby's returnred to the blog. She's a very busy gal and I'm thrilled she's made some time to check in with the blog (and herself) in the writing way. She's enrolled in this amazing program that, to spare our readers a long description, kind of centers around self-discovery and opening up to the world, ie: love. It's been an amazing 4-year journey for her, and frankly, for everyone who knows her, because what she's learning and going through is so powerful that its ripple effects have reached far and wide. I owe a ton of my own growth and discovery to her openness and courage in this program. At any rate, this weekend, she graduates. Though, do we really every graduate from these kinds of journeys? She'll probably continue to be involved with the school of course, but her 'lessons' and awakenings will last far into the future. She's a solid rock of inspiration, compassion and strength and my heart fills with gratitude every time she crosses my mind.

Of course, our blog is about more than merely spending a paragraph singing the praises of eachother, but since our friendship is one of the tools we're utilizing to try and be awake to our evolving health, I thought it was important to note Traby's current project. Each weekend that she's at school, she comes back with a stronger inner light that really radiates. Each of us, faces challenges all the time; family, relationships, friendships, work. And Traby always seems to be grounded in the midst of whatever she's facing (ok, just a few more sentences! I swear it will all circle back to health!) And that kind of presence breathes deep around others (a little poetic language for this Saturday afternoon.) She brings a compassion to every level of experience, something that's hard to do, once you get deeper and deeper into what our real motivations are, and begin to uncover what could be unsavory dirty secrets. It's at those levels, I find being present with myself with compassion that hardest, and, that's where it's most important.

We've said this before here, but speaking for myself, my choices and approach to life hasn't centered around compassion and presence until recently. And to face some of the same challenges (eating for example) in this new way is hard work. However, as Traby noted in her recent post, something like grace sneaks in and gives us some breathing room. There's been a lot of grace in my life recently, or rather, maybe I've merely noticed it more. That whole awake/aware thing, pretty important. Being awake to grace is powerful. It resets my whole outlook. And allows compassion to flow a little easier.

My 12 days of sugar ended Thursday when I had a pop-tart. No biggie (here's where the compassion comes in!) But then, I got a stomach flu. Good grief! On the bright side, it's kicked my weight-loss into high gear. I've lost 9 lbs in 2 1/2 weeks. I haven't had a full meal (or for that matter, real food) since Thursday. The pasta I ate last night (and subsequently voided soon thereafter doesn't count!) So it's been tea, broth, diet coke, jello and a few saltines for me for 2 days. I'm starving. But, I have to say, sitting in hunger for 2 days allows me to do a little more work around how I connect anxiety and hunger. So I'm grateful for that, and I see a little grace even in that. I just hope I'm not dying!