Grape Ape

So, I'm eating some grapes. A mid-afternoon snack after a lunch of a leftover turkey meatloaf sandwich. I admit to losing some of my 'oomph' for this endeavor over the weekend, and though, I could make sort of valid excuses (my mother's health being the big one) it still doesn't quite address the core of my sinking a bit. It's definitely disheartening to gain weight while trying to lose it, but as a sweet man who lives in my house has said, 'you must look at the overall numbers for a month.' And while that's true, it's hard, at the end of a difficult week, to see a number on the scale that's higher (even .5!) than it was last week. I can set myself up and change my thinking pretty easily to come close to defeat. However, today, I'm determined, even if I have to walk in there weeping, yawning and defeated, to go to the gym after work. And even if I walk slowly and don't push myself as hard as I could, I need to GET THERE. Putting my shoes on and walking in the doors VERY often leads to me wanting to be there, feeling good, and working hard. It rarely fails if I can just get myself there. Once there, those endorphins get going and they start doing their thing. And if they don't help with all this other stuff (my mother's health) I don't know what will. So, today at 4:15, I better be walking up the steps to the gym or else.